Canadian Apologies and Dance Floor Etiquette

Canadians like to apologize a lot.  I’ve noticed that many Canadians are mindful of their personal space and the space of others.  Although my students and some colleagues have warned me not to be charmed by what they call the “underhanded apology,” I’ve found this to be a very pleasant part of living North of the border. 

Take, for example, a mundane encounter last night during the Pride block parties.  A group of women were walking backwards in the middle of a crowded street full of intoxicated revelers hopped up on everything from booze to molly.  It was a slow and grinding procession.  Most of the outdoor parties were shutting down for the night and people were sort of roaming the streets, looking to keep the party going. 

In the midst of it all, I spotted a group of women that looked especially wasted.  They were screaming loudly and dancing (more like flailing!) about…until BAM!  They ran into someone.  The guilty person—a somewhat gangly brunette who looked like she had three too many Tequila shots—swiftly apologized, “I’m soooooo Sorry” (emphasis on the strong “O” sound).  Her friend, a shorter brunette who was sporting a glow stick and “sex hair,” nudged her friend, “See!  You need to watch where you’re going!” They giggled at their mistake and the person they bumped into nodded and went on his way.  Problem solved. 

From my limited experience in Canada (and I do mean limited), this seems like a routine kind of interaction: Someone steps out of their personal space, briefly invades someone else’s space, and then “repairs” the tenuous situation offering an apology.  Sociologists from Goffman to Conversation Analysts are quick to point out that apologies are important maneuvers because they: a) clear up potential moments of miscommunication (which are ripe for conflict), and b) they show that a person knows when they are in the wrong and that they can be trusted in the future.  Apologies are moral acts that help maintain an otherwise fragile social contract between people. 

Now, in spite of this general trend, I’ve noticed something peculiar happening on dance floors, which are spaces in which people relax (and modify) the taken-for-granted rules of personal space that they observe in everyday life.  From my limited (and I do mean limited) experience, I’ve noticed that Canadians don’t generally observe a thing that I like to call “Hip Hop dance floor etiquette.”  Let me explain: I grew up dancing Hip Hop and House in different music scenes stretching across San Francisco/Oakland, LA, and most recently Philadelphia.  In all of these places, I’ve noticed that people clear up space for dancers who are starting to heat up.  From massive raves in old and dank Oakland warehouses to swanky lounges in Center City Philly, people in different scenes I’ve danced in seem to understand that when someone starts doing a “6 step” or “The Indian,” they let that person to bust.  In LA, I was always fascinated by small house clubs where someone would flick their wrists upwards, which other people would see as a sign that they were going to lock or “Campbell-lock.”  Sometimes people would break out into an Apache Line and top-rock with each other, or space would immediately clear around that person, creating a dance circle.

I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve had the opposite experience here.  There have been a number of recent times when I’ve been out and the opposite happens.  The DJ puts on a track that gets me hyped.  I start to pop or do some house stepping and quickly find a bunch of people walking around me, stepping on my shoes, bumping into me, spilling their drinks on me, or the worst—just standing there with their feet planted firmly into the ground.  At first, I thought this was a hipster thing.  I thought, these kids are too cool for school and busting a move to Gang Starr’s“Mass Appeal” might feel foreign to them.  It might not move them in the same way.  Either that, or their skinny jeans made it hard or even painful for them to dance… ;)

Last night at one of the Pride block parties the same thing happened.  And this time, I couldn’t fall back on the convenient “hipster explanation.”  

The DJ was spinning a really awesome set.  I started to pop a little bit and then found myself surrounded by a group who looked at me like I had invaded their space.  What’s worse is that during the break of one of the songs, a tiny circle started to open up around me.  Whether on purpose or by chance, I started to have some space.  And then, this person walked right into the middle of the circle, bumped into me, and half-shoved me. I looked at her, expecting an apology, but got nothing except for an icy stare.  Where did the Canadian apology go?  Was she waiting for me to apologize?  I sure the hell wasn’t planning on it!  Maybe old habits die hard, but I am still a big believer in dance floor etiquette.

Anyways, I should say that I use the Canadian generalization a bit loosely here.  I’m mostly joking and don’t want to offend anyone.  I did have a really awesome experience with my friends at Open Mat MMA at their annual dance party.  There was a dance floor there and there were dance lines, dance circles, and lots of people vibing with one another.  I guess one moral of the story: Roll deep to a dance floor and you can create your own dance circles?